Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
