You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
