eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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