I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
