I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize