You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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