sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
