Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
