sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
