If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
