Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
