I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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