I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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