On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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