yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize