I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
