Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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