Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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