he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
