why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
