I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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