u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
