Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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