just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
