Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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