I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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