Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Are we still banned from the library?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
