He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize