Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
