hotel room ftw
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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