Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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