ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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