Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
