I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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