How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
