You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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