Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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