No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize