She is in my trunk
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
