I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
