literally had 100 drinks last night.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
