So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My feet surprised me
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
