Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
