what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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