stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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