Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
