Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Someone signed my nipple.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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