Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
not ubering you a puppy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
