He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
