What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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