You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
