Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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