Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
