I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
from now on my penis is your penis
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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