What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
