Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
