I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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