my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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