so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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