Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
