she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
