You're so nebulous sometimes
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
