well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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